Australia

Sat 24th Dec

So I set off on my trip to Australia, taking all sorts of lotions & potions, gadgets & gizmos that I never, ever normally consider; except when travelling. Are my teeth really that likely to fall out; do I need enough memory to store 20,000 photos?

I 'm packed and ready to go with 5 or 6 hrs to go. Now have nothing to do except watch tedious films about super-hero guinea pigs and singing glove puppets. Bahh humbug. 

Seems strange starting my journey on the Caddington to Luton hopper bus but whatever. Absolutely loved my flight. Wasn't long enough to watch all the TV shows and movies I wanted. The A380 800 Airbus had this really cool camera at the top of the tail fin so you could watch the plane taxi and take off. It was awesome. 

Following a top tip, I invested in one of those inflatable neck pillows (thanks Becky). OMG - despite the rollercoaster ride, I slept like a baby on the flight: I screamed my head off and soiled myself every 3 hrs. No, no, only kidding (ish). Update 9th Jan. Headline news in Oz. 11 injured in Qantas flight Heathrow to Sydney due to extreme turbulence. Had to make emergency landing and check wings for damage. Eikkk!

At Midnight UK time I opened a present (thanks Emma) and ate Comet the Reindeer. Yumm. Merry Christmas!

 Sun 25th Dec

Short stop in Singapore Airport. Thought I would give the 21st Century a go and try that WiFi thingy. This looked like a promising start.

No. Failed miserably. Eves-dropping I hear that you had to ask for the code before going through all the security controls. You cant go back through to ask. Grrr. Left my crystal ball at home.

Mon 26th Dec

Arrive at Sydney to news that Darwin is about to be hit by a category 2 cyclone. 'Hope you have your wet weather gear mate', says Sheila, the immigration officer.

'Err..noooo. Was planning to get some stuff at the airport'.
Well, that was a mistake. 1. I was, of course, in the Domestic Terminal now for my 5hr wait for the connecting flight to Darwin. The shops were 'limited'. And 2, I would have had to sell a kidney to afford such a purchase. Everything is mad expensive. Its £2+ for a packet of crisps. Think I could be losing a lot of weight on this trip, or eating a lot of cheap crap! Update 19th Jan. I went for the eat lots of crap option.  

So I give the internet another go. Another epic fail. You have to buy credit (I'm learning that nothing is free here) but the site doesn't allow you to enter the expiry date of your card so I can't procede. So that's not my fault right? Thems stoops, not me..? Update 5th Jan. Email from Qantas basically explaining that it WAS me being stupid.  

So I watch the guys preparing my plane. I see all the luggage loaded..except mine. Arggh, panic. Then realise that wasn't my flight. Dooh!! Maybe I need some sleep.

After what seems like the longest flight ever, I arrive at Darwin where a shuttle bus takes all us weary travellers to our hotels. $15 a head. That means the driver, for 20mins work, scooped over £200! Man, Australia is going to be expensive.

On arriving at the Holiday Inn, our driver, Shiela, announces, 'This is the Holiday Inn, Daaaaaarrrwin. Not the Holiday Inn, Esplanade; this is the Holiday Inn, Daaaarrrr winnnn'. Love it.

At the hotel I thought it would be funny to take a photo of these rolls of linolium that had been delivered and make out like they were giant digeridos. What a card.

But it turns out they kind of are over-size digeridos. Art iniitt. And this little lot will set you back over £60k. I wonder if they sell many? Update 17th Jan. Saw an excellent digerido for sale outside the Opera House. Only $50 - but how would I get it home? Guess thats why they are sold at the airport for 4 times as much.

Tue 27^th Dec

Started my tour at 6.45am after a mighty breakfast. Was surprised to find that the others on the trip were either early 20s or mid thirties. Most were mid-thirties. Still made me the oldest, of course, but not old enough to be anyone’s Dad. Actually, I suppose early 20s I could be. And best of all, I wasn’t the only ‘larger’ type. So I wasn't alone in sweating like a pig!

So, its off to Lichfield National Park.

All you ever wanted to know about termites.

In brief; sweat, trudge, waterfall, swim, sweat, spiders, sweat, trudge, sweat, waterfall, swim, sweat. Sweat mostly. God its hot.

 

Wed 28^th Dec

 

Now off to Kakado National Park. More of the same really (can you tell I'm getting bored already).

We posed at the entrance sign to the park, but I thought the image of everyone trying to sychronise their timers to take the photo was more interesting.



Thrs 29th Dec

More.

I wimped out of one of the treks (there's only so much scrub, rock and 50 degree full heat of the day at 100% humidity one can enjoy) and opted to enjoy a spa to myself. It was bliss.

Fri 30th Dec

Losing the thread a little by now, but I think today comprised of sun, sky, sweat, trudge, squish, sweat.

I am discovering that Aussies will make an attraction out of just about anything. Today we visited the stuffed (somewhat shortened) remains of the buffulo Paul Hogan confronted in Crocodile Dundee 30 yrs ago.

As a very special treat, we were given a free boat cruise because the area was flooded. Well, words do not suffice to tell you how mind blowingly dull and irritating our indigenous guide Reubens was. For 2 hrs he never stopped talking – about nothing! It was like circular breathing. 2 hrs, not a single second to draw breath. He must have told us 50 times that the area was flooded. We know – we’re seeing our surrounds from a feckin’ boat.

He had us all looking out for crocodiles. Well, I swear, had I seen one I would have thrown myself at its mercy to spare me from the endless drivel that was Reubens.

I think the heat is having an adverse effect on my brain. I was determined NOT to be a whinging pomm, but….

Sat 31st Dec

Today, we left the National Parks and headed South to the warmer but less humid desert areas. On route; an abandoned airstrip, a road train (‘Call that a truck…this is a truck’ – remember the knife scene in Crocodile Dundee?) and a whole host of fuel stations claiming some fame (UFO sightings, a giant model of the Pink Panther, an old tree stump that an early pioneer may have walked past, Aussie humour etc).

**WARNING**  Smutty adult humour to follow: over 18s only!

These are all genuine signs. The 'butts' one isnt supposed to be funny but I thought it was. Oohh err missus.

 

Sometimes !



OK children, safe to come back now. 

Note - this lorry is only half loaded. They can be up to 5 units and 53.5m long.

About 2hrs after I took this pic we pulled out of a layby where we had pulled over to take some snaps. This truck came thundering past us. Guess it was safer to chance a blind overtake than plough into the back of us!


Eventually got to Banka Banka to celebrate New Years. It was a struggle to stay awake past 8pm. Everyone is feeling fatigued. But now, our party of 10, have a very spacious tour bus instead of a truck, food for 20 and a fantastic tour guide, Todd.

We are starting to all get along and enjoy each other’s company – helped by a life of luxury courtesy of the logistical over supply and Todd having his girlfriend on the tour basically doing all the work for us. Halcyon days.

Even enjoying the company of these little guys – who particularly like the toilet!

When the lights went off just before Midnight, and Todd bought out the champagne and sparklers, we were all bedazzled by the clear skies and stars, and ended up chatting for hours (guys on the tour I mean, not me and the frogs).



Sun 1st Jan 2012

Visited Devil’s Marbles today. Hot, very hot.

Todd left us to explore by ourselves for a bit. He pointed to a green hut about 200 metres away and said he’d meet us there in half an hour. The tour’s token Aussie traveler, Muriel, headed for the hut first, and I followed shortly behind. Suddenly there were cries from behind me, “Niall, you’re going the wrong way!!”. Was I? I couldn’t see another green hut, nor could I now see Muriel or anyone else for that matter. You're terrible Muriel.What other way should I go?

Since it was so hot and I was now alone, I headed for the green hut I had in view. At least it would be shelter from the heat, which had to be better than wandering around in the heat looking for some other green hut.

When I got to the green hut, sure enough our bus was there. No sign of Todd though (or Emma for that matter…) Took me a while to convince myself I was in the right place. No sign of the others though.

Todd & Emma returned and we tried to spot the missing others. As time ticked on I was thinking of all the interviews I would have to do – CNN, BBC, ABC, Sky, they would all want to know what happened that fatal day in the desert when 8 tourists perished in the baking heat of the sun. There would probably be a TV film made. Who would play me I wonder (Robbie Coltrane, Richard Griffiths, Gerard Depardiou perhaps?). But then Todd spotted them. Darn. There goes another get rich quick plan. Update - since heard that they too had a movie in mind. Their's was that one where the psycho killer, on home turf, manoeuvres to pick them off one by one. I was the first victim...or maybe I was, in fact, the psycho!....


The best bit though was when we picked the others up. The guy who sits next to me says, “So, you went the wrong way hey”. Excuse me, unless you haven’t noticed, Im already on the bus, with the driver, picking you up - muppet. Still don’t know where the hell they were going – the rendevous point was only a stone’s throw away from where we started.

And so we head on, crossing the Tropic of Capricorn (another tourist attraction).

Incidentally, everyone else on the tour, with their massive cameras, insists on taking the cheesy stand in front of the thing shot. Nobody else cottoned on to the beauty of the skyscape - until I dared take a pic without a gurning grockle in mid view. This was to be a recurring theme (sorry Jonathan, but I deleted all the photos you very kindly took of me stood in front of every single thing we saw).



Mon 2nd Jan

Alice Springs. We check into a hostel. I ponder a hotel instead because I don’t want to keep a whole dorm up with my snoring. I was going to check out the hostel (I’ve paid for it so might as well) but before I got to the room a fellow traveler grabs me and says, “that’s it, I’m coming with you, get that taxi to the hotel!” Apparently, the sight of a hairy man in just his underpants sprawled out in mid-dorm caused instant trauma. Lol. And I thought I was the precious one.

I love Alice. It’s a bit threatening, its very, very hot and it has a certain pace about it. Love Santa's Kangaroo sleigh. Can you see one has a red nose? Funny to step out of the desert into a Xmas scene.

I bought some Aborginal art work and had it shipped back home courtesy of hotel reception. Gawd knows when it will arrive or how much it will cost me. Best not to think about it.

I also bought an awesome hat. This hat really suits me. Spent most of my 2 days in Alice in my great hotel room watching TV, wearing my hat. Just my hat.

Now feel as though I dont need any other souvenirs. Job done.

HOT HOT HOT

 

Tue 3rd & Wed 4th Jan

Up at stupid o’clock again. We all muster for a 6am pick-up on the first day but the tour doesn’t get its act together until 7.30. Sigghh. I could have been enjoying my hotel room.

Another tour guide, another tour group, another bus. Off to Uluru (Ayre’s Rock). On the second day we swap buses again, and exchange 8 passengers for 8 passengers who, judging by their luggage, are planning to emigrate on the Titanic. All German speaking. I have no idea what’s going on. I think the tour guide is jadded too because he now makes no effort to introduce the newbies and oldies. We are just one of about 100 tours doing the rock. Uluru is Aboriginal for ‘stupid white people’ you know.

The problem I’m having with this tour is that it’s increasingly impersonal. There are now 22 of us. The bus doesn’t lend itself to talking to anyone except that squished next to you. There is no space for luggage. We stop every hour or so for no real reason such that when we get to our camp site it’s a mad rush to unload the 4.7 tonnes of luggage, load up the fridges and prepare supper whilst there is still light. There is always a mad rush to get electronics plugged in to re-charge, a scramble for the tents, showers, to cram water bottles into the freezer…sigh. I lack the killer self self self instinct so always end up at a disadvantage. There is no time to actually be somewhere, enjoy each others company, explore the locale.

I feel like cattle being herded across the plains by a posse of tour guide drovers. Their’s is an exercise in logistic efficiency. Enjoyment doesn’t really come into it. For example, the lovely new camp promised us was 4 to a tent. Bunk bed tents! Boiling hot. We had to share with another cattle train of Ulurus. Efficiencies of scale.

They seem obsessed with sunrise & sunset here. Its free I suppose.

We got up at 3.30am to see the sunrise at Uluru. We had seen the sunset the day before. Nothing of any note – I mean, it was just a sunset – no amazing colour changes or effects. It was a 3.30 start so we could fit breakfast in first. Why didn’t we just have breakfast after or even during sunrise? Sunrise which, again, was no event.

I’d like to have a beer, talk to a local, do something relaxing. I tried doing that on the second day, when our camp was next to a pub – but despite loads in there drinking, the landlord just shut up shop at 9.30. Sigghh.

We then visited Uluru properly. That was pretty good. We walked round its base. 10km.

     

      

Thr 5th Jan

King’s Canyon today. A really steep climb and walk through a canyon. Spectacular.

I have been sitting next to and walking alongside a proper Australian farmer; Brenda. She has some amazing stories.
She has been telling me about killer ‘Roos (Aussies don’t do more than 2 syllabols per word unless quoting Aborginal names like oohwaggawobberddoodookerdanga – OK, I made that one up), life on the farm, her racehorse and all the shinanigans rivals get up to, her 29yr old son who has never had a girlfriend but is definitely not a’sissie’ (hmm…), her culling work, her book, her fella who died when a blade sheered off a machine and cut his jugular, the Lesbian community in Alice, how she was the lone juror in a murder trial who stood up for the suspect who was so obviously guilty the jury didn’t know how to use their time. Hang on, isn’t that Henry Fonda in Twelve Angry Men?

Fri 6th Jan

OMG. Its still Xmas. Cant believe I still have 2 weeks here before heading home. I feel like I have been away for a year.

Today is the remote and very arid mining town of Coober Pedy. What a nuts place. Everyone lives underground, they make a tourist attraction out of..err..a bucket which isnt even a real bucket and the golf course is for real. I have a newspaper article all about their big annual event. Thats the golf course on the left, in case you can't tell.

Decide to forego what could potentially be the only decent night’s accommodation on the entire tour and catch the overnight Greyhound bus to Adelaide. Freedom!!
It was great. Sat amongst a group of Aboriginals. The kids were so cute. Dont know what was being said, of course, but I’m pretty sure the Mums were expressing ‘sit down and behave’.

Wish I had done the whole holiday by Greyhound, but how was I to know. Maybe next time.

Sat 7th Jan

Arrive in Adelaide at 7am. Spend several hrs at the YHA updating this blog (which, I have to say, is an absolute nightmare. Downloading pics and getting them where you want them on the page...omg..its just a blummin drama. Anyhows). I had this idea of topping up my tan by a hotel pool, now that all my bites have gone down, sunburn healed etc etc, but, unfortunately, the weather is somewhat overcast.

Spend Saturday night on the tiles. Wayy heyy! Get scared off one club by the host of bouncers & 'birds' on the door and the sight of 6 burly rugger bugger types falling out of the place so I head for the sports bar, which seems to be the only bar in town that you can just walk in to. Its not bad in there. $6/pt although 1 costs $8.50 for no obvious reason.

When I leave its like falling into a TOWIE version of Alice in Wonderland. Chav-tastic. What are those girls thinking? Have the worst kebab like thing I have ever tasted. Alcohol is supposed to make stuff taste better. Lord knows what it must actually have tasted like. I paid for it though, so, of course, no matter how dire, I still eat it. :0)

Rules Rules Rules

This was at the entrance to a toilet! - lol



There are rules and regulations everywhere. At the airport there was a sign which simply said 'Immigration departures'. Huhh? How do immigrants depart? And at Sydney's Aquatic Fitness Centre (which I can highly recommend before 6pm) one of the swim lanes instructed 'Freestyle Only'. Doesn't freestyle mean any style you like?





Sun 8th Jan

Spend most of the day trying to find somewhere to watch Andy Murray in the Brisbane final. Try the sports bar. They have 37 screens of sport. All the usual stuff - cricket, footie, golf, horse racing. They even have chariot racing, an image of a coin being tossed (head, head, tail, head, tail, tail....etc) and, get this, guys playing table 'fuzzball' football. Riveting! But no tennis; even though its from Australia. The poor bar manager almost goes into meltdown trying to find it for me. I sneak out for the sake of her health.

Instead, I try the absolutely awesome Adelaide Tennis Club. I lost count at 40 courts. Tarmac, carpet, clay, grass, fake grass. All in play withn even more watching on. Club also had swimming pools, crown green bowling, spa...oh, the works. But no Brisbane Tennis final.

So, another cunning plan. The HQ of  the tennis federation is just down the road. I go there. They tell me the score and what channel it is on - but they dont have it on TV. But its channel 7,2. Armed with this I return to the sports bar. Well, I think they now have 'wanted, preferably dead' posters of me up in the bar cos after pressing about 4,000 buttons the poor bar manager, Sheila, cant find it. I down a pint and leg it.

In the evening I brave 'Garage'. Its a great venue; it actually is a garage. But at $7 for a schooner, which is about 1 and a half slurps, I dont stay long. How can anyone afford to drink out in this country?

Mon 9th Jan

Find an amazing salvage yard, strangely enough, in the middle of town. So much amazing stuff in there. And it looks like its straight out of the Wild West. Shame its 14,000 miles away from my house. Argggh. Also catch up with the tour I left in Coober Pedy as they check into the YHA. Its funny to hear the Germans' version of the 2 days I skipped compared to the 2 Aussie ladies. Needless to say - Im glad I bailed when I did!

Went to get tickets for the senior tennis event which is coming to town Tues; but end up buying a ticket for the 20-20 cricket instead. Really looking forward to it. I got gripped watching Adelaide lose to Sydney on Sat night but they are at home tomorrow and expected to win. I walked round the Adelaide Oval yesterday and it looks the business. Cant wait.

Watch 'The Iron Lady' in the evening at the Nova Cinema. Strange cinema. You have to buy the tickets elsewhere. Tennis and cricket seem to have the same arrangement. What a depressing film. I had no idea it was going to be so relentlessly sad.  

Tues 10th Jan

I think the beach would be a good idea today. Heard from a fellow traveler about their night in the dorm. They were kept awake all night by a vagrant, petty thief cum con-artist who spent all night confessing her sins & sharing her woes with them. Funnily enough, there was none of that carry on in my triple bed, air conditioned, private room. Ha ha!

Got the tram to the beach; Glenelg. A very nice, elderly Canadian chatted to me.

There wasn’t actually much to do at the beach. It was a strip of sand and then the Ocean. There was no beach life per se and it was really windy. I didn’t want to be the lone pomm taking to the waters, so I had a barramundi and chips, a raspberry slushy and headed back.

Had a wee afternoon nap, in my lovely, private room with a choice of beds, before going to the cricket at the Oval.




Unfortunately, the home team, the ‘Strikers’ were atrocious. More ‘Adelaide Shockers’ than strikers. I think they were fielding their under 12s B-team reserve. I don’t know that much about cricket but when the opening batsman is out on the very first ball and 5 of the next 6 fail to get into double figures, that’s bad.



Hard to take good photos of the cricket so I’m afraid, despite my previous criticism, I have reverted to sunset snaps. Now I understand.

Weds 11th Jan

Back with the tour and back on the road.

Our new tour guide is Shelly. Not Sheila or Jelly, but SHELLY. She’s bubbly, but when addressing the group her voice pitches up 2 octaves and defaults to coochee couchee coo dialogue. Does she think we’re all under 3? This, combined with the harsh Aussie accent, makes her voice sound like..well..have you ever unpacked something delicate and expensive, like a flatscreen TV. The edges are protected with molded polystyrene. Get 2 of those brackets and rub them slowly but forcibly past one another. Like that. She is really nice though - Im just saying. About 0.6 on the Reubens scale.

 

So its driving,walking, waterfalls, vistas etc.
In fairness though, the views are awesome.

We are really high up now; in the Grampians.

Thrs 12th Jan

Another day, another tour of the highway toilets of Australia. Did I mention that we stop every hr or less for toilet visits? I think I have photographically neglected the wonderful variety of dunnies we have sampled, so here is a pic.

I thought we were high up yesterday; but today. OMG, as they say.

ANIMALS & STUFF

 

 I love this pic because we have a kangaroo (wearing Prada by the looks of it), her joey and, just for good measure, an emu in the background. Being a child of the 70s & 80s I was expecting Emus to be bright blue, but evidentally not. No-one knew what I was on about when I mentioned this. Im too old. :0(

Koala, of course.

Crazy jumping Korean, macho 'newt', log cabin school house.

Fri 13th Jan

We procede along the great coast road. Sea, rock, rock in the sea, sea, sky, rocks in the sea. You get the idea.

Unfortunately, there was an accident on the road right ahead of us.

It didn't look too bad to me. The car was still in tact and the road barrier still in place, but after being held up for about 2hrs we heard that both passengers had died at the scene.

One of our group was stood right in the middle of it all as the firecrew & medics tried to save them. Not to help, just to gawp. How sick is that? Mind you, this is the guy who introduced himself to the coach party with 'Hello girls'. Creep!

Spent the night in the St. Kilda area of Melbourne which, from the very brief glimpse I got of it, seems great. The hostel is bad busy. Wish I wasn't leaving so early. Josh from Essex and all the roomies are really friendly. Insist on going out. So should have - Josh was even funnier drunk but I thought it might get all a bit testosterone.

Sat 14th Jan

Join a new tour today for the last leg from Melbourne to Sydney. They are a great bunch.

Lovely beaches and, thank holey smoley, a tour where we dont have to prepare breakfast, lunch and dinner every day. The tour guide is so knowledgable and combines commentary with a great play list.

Now look, this is a sunset worthy of a snap.

Sun 15th Jan

Really enjoy the drive/snooze through the mountains to Squatter's narration. Stay the night in a ski resort - which, given our location and weather seems really odd.

Decide to forego the chairlift and ascent of Australia's highest peak for a few hrs in a private room. Lush. Have an all you can eat dinner (oh my, where have you been all holiday), followed by a few shots and trip to a local bar. All over too quick though. Finally enjoying the company of my group but its the last night. Will be sad to leave Craig and Matthew and Michael. :0(

Mon 16th Jan

Last tour day. Our tour takes us to Australia’s capital; Canberra. Squatter tried his best to make it interesting but a city built specifically to be a capital is always going to be dull, and if it’s not your own government and you aren’t into that sort of thing, you are on a hiding to nothing. Think the younger guys were very bored. I found it OK though 'cos it was something different for me.


The parliament: - it has a big flag and lots of portraits of previous incumbents. I recognized this guy because he was on British TV a lot in the 70s and 80s – the former Australian Cultural Attaché, Sir Les Patterson.

Squatter also negotiated our entry into the ‘tent compound’, which is an Aboriginal protest site a bit like the anti-war carry-on in Westminster’s Parliament Square, only far more ‘ethnic’. The deputy assistant keeper of the flame (long story) explained his dreamscape po-larva that he was scratching into the sand. He wasn’t so much 40,000 yrs of continuous indigenous society as a scruffy San Francisco smack-head. Blue eyes and a Norwegian mother. Hmm.. very Aboriginal. It was all a bit bonkers tbh.

I was glad to get to Sydney. We were dropped off in batches around the city. It was strange saying goodbye to people so quickly as they piled off the bus. I had been speaking to Rae for 3 wks; and before I knew where I was, she was gone, and we didn’t even say goodbye.

My hotel room was…well..err..incredible! Bedroom, study, kitchen, bathroom. It had a dishwasher, tumble drier, enormous flatscreen TV. Basically, better than my house. Oh, and a pool and spa on hand too. Seemed crazy to plonk my bags down and dash off to meet the other guys straight away for a farewell drink. Sent texts to meet them later but never did catch up with them. Wish I had – they were great.

Tues 17th Jan

After a fabulous sleep I explore Sydney. Some places are effortlessly photogenic. I give you exhibit A; the Sydney Opera House.

Others sites; well…not so easy. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get the Sydney Harbour Bridge to look anything other than the butt-ugly, design-lazy (let’s just copy the fabulously cheap and pragmatic Newcastle) heap of iron that it is (I’m not a fan – can you tell?). I mean, seriously, what’s attractive about this? In my pic, the only saving grace is that there is a boat obscuring some of it.



 

In the evening I get the overnight train to Melbourne. Not the same experience as the Greyhound. Arrive in Melbourne absolutely knackered. I do wonder what goes through designers minds sometimes. It’s as though they specifically wanted customers to be uncomfortable, but I can’t think how that was in any way advantageous. Anyway, whined enough here already

Weds 18th Jan

Hear a rumour that Federer is playing the Hisense Arena today. I don’t have a ticket for that, so forego getting some shut-eye in favour of getting a ticket. Get one – hoorah!

Go to the tennis and basically tread water for hours waiting for the 3rd up match, Roger. Then hear its been cancelled. OMG, I have to be the unluckiest tennis fan ever: 3 tickets over 2 days, to centre court (Rod Laver) and number 1 court (Hisense) and I still manage to miss the 2 guys I came to see – Federer and Murray.

Its not all doom and gloom though. I happen upon this rather relaxed looking guy knocking some balls about under a concrete fly-over looking thing in what appears to be a dis-used skater park (Melbourne Park aint no Wimbledon, that’s for sure).

 

Can’t tell you how happy it makes me feel. Strange really, I’ve seen plenty of celebs before (who hasn’t) but chancing upon Federer like this has a funny effect on me. Come over all emotional. Embarrassing really.

Watch Australia’s golden boy, Bernard Tomic, in the evening. Come over all 'Epsom salts' again when, in his end of match interview he says how much he loves his sister. I think its an end of holiday emotional drain thing. Either that or I’m an incurable jessie.

Thrs 19th Jan

My last day. :0(

Back to the tennis. Forewarned folk to look out for me as Djokovic enters the court. I wave a yellow banner. Pretty sure I made it onto screen. Not exactly 15 mins of fame. Not even 15 secs, but maybe 1.5 if you are sharp-eyed. Hope someone recorded it. Am I turning into some sort of hopeless sap? Maybe I need a holiday! Lol.

As with cricket, decent tennis photos that capture the atmosphere are hard to come by: but here is my take on it.

I just can't, for the life of me, figure out how to align photos onto this blog so am just going to paste them on however and save myself the grief. Here goes....



Jamie Murray in the doubles





Bernard Tomic wins

Nicolas Mahut at match point

Nicolas Mahut wins

I like Mahut. He always looks like he needs to convelesce in a darkened room. He had a group of fans who chanted 'Oohh' every time he hit the ball, and 'Ahh' when his opponent returned. Ooh.... ahh..... ooh ..... ahh, Nicolahh (when the rally ended). You had to be there.

 





The victor leaves court

It was pretty blummin hot sitting in the sun watching tennis. Lovely, but one has to be mindful of that sun. Got sunburnt knees. Took a slight detour after the tennis to get some food before heading off to the airport. Found an Irish bar where drinks were at UK type prices (i.e. half Oz prices) and that did an awesome Black Pudding Pizza. Honestly, much nicer than it sounds.

Next up, Roland Garros. Think it would be cool to do the Grand Slam. I have the trickiest one under my belt.

Conclusion

Australia is very expensive. I prefer feeling rich on holiday.

Irish bars are everywhere (but we all knew that already).

The novelty of the pitch-in catering holiday has well and truely passed.

Maybe I dont snore bad after all. Nobody mentioned it whereas they did jest about another who snored in the same room as me.

Ice coffee in the morning, iced tea in the afternoon - thats the way to go.

Pack less. LESS! Leave the bathroom at home.

I need to be thinner.

 I'd like to go back to Oz but holiday smarter. I would book private rooms in hostels and save a fortune. I would spend the saving on eating properly. I would look carefully at the tours I book, to make sure there is a variety of things going on and activities to take part in, such as canoeing or horse riding. I would allow sufficient time to check out cities, such as Melbourne.